I follow Dawn Porter on Twitter … I think she's fab, effortlessly cool and straight talking, something I am frustratingly most definitely not. I worry far too much about people's opinions of me, I ramble when I'm nervous or feel awkward, I giggle for no reason I worry about upsetting people. I stress myself out over running around like a crazy person trying to keep other people happy. It's a running joke in our house the extent to which I apologise, … A habit I fear is rubbing off on lil man, I bumped into him earlier and he apologised to me … I know!
Anyhoo I digress I read this article by Dawn a few weeks ago and had an epiphany…
Right! I said to myself that's it. I'm going to just say No when I mean No. I feel excited like a weights lifted, I mean it's not hard, I won't be rude, just firm. This started well, I've had 2 situations where I've attempted to put this new me into practice….
I went to get my hair cut …well a trim (have a pixie crop so 'cut' is a slight exaggeration) ….
Quite how this happened is beyond me but the guy cutting it ..who's cut it before I might add…managed to literally hack a chunk out the back. And I mean hack! a while ago I may well have sat there grinning and assuring him it was probably my fault for Urrrm sitting?! But not this time luvie, oh no. I was polite, smiled and said yeah, not quite what I'd had in mind. Could you ask someone senior to come and take a look, please…still smiling, calm, and firm. He scurries away. I know I shouldn't have trusted him, the clue was in the heavy guy liner.
A more senior stylist lovely as she was crouches down, takes my hand and braces me for just how short it now needs to go to 'correct it', yeah, it was short, I mean short, there were a few tears on the drive home. I was gutted, gone from a feminine gamine crop to a crew cut. I had a close friends wedding that Saturday. I was looking for a hat and not for the glamour of an accessory but for shelter. Anyhoo, I stood my ground. Refused to pay & requested some form of discount for my next appointment, they're lucky I'm going back quite frankly, well not to guy liner boy that's for sure!
….that's 1 to me then, yey! I like this new, stop taking sh*t me. It's liberating. I feel proud of myself.
I then go to the AGM of the Pre School,…in a hat… Mr G jokes that ill come home having nominated myself to be the Chairperson because 'I felt bad' or my usual 'I don't know how it happened I couldn't stop myself' Ha! i'll show him I can say No, I mean I happy to be involved its our children's pre school, I want to do my bit of course, but standing behind a tombola isn't filling me with excitement, i know I'll sit on my hands. I've turned a corner, bring it on, the current committee dissolves. New committee members please …. No Donna just nibble your complimentary garibaldi….
So, I'm now the Secretary of the Pre School Committee, what is it they say about gently catching monkeys?!?
…. Raffle Ticket anyone?